Legend of the Holy Sword Excalibur: Hetalia
by pielover3.14cherrypie
Summary: The Allies mainly America go to seek out the Holy Sword Excalibur! But things go down hill fast. . . Hetalia and Soul Eater crossover! Rated T for France and possible colorful language later in the story. Thank you to anyone who reads! FOOL!
1. SEEKING OUT EXCALIBUR

**I do not own Soul Eater or Hetalia! This is my second time typing this cause I accidentally deleted it all and I'm pissed, so sorry this is going to be bad because I'm lazy.**

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Once again the Allies were forced to agree to one of America's stupid ideas again. This one, however, England particularly liked.

This one was to seek out the Holy Sword, Excalibur.

All the Allies took a plane to England to seek out Excalibur.

What a terrible mistake.

They were outside a large cavern. And then they went in. The ground was covered in water, so the Allies had to wade through the water.

And then a fairy greeted them.

"Are you here to seek out Excalibur, the Holy Sword?" she asked.

"Heck yeah!" America responded enthusiastically. "Wait. . . Are you a fairy?" he asked nervously.

"Yes." the fairy replied flatly.

At this, America nearly had a heart attack and passed out. "I told you I'm not crazy!" England said maniacally. Then he did a weird laugh.

"Right, aru. . ." China said. "You realize America is unconscious on the floor, right, aru?" China asked. "And I'm not carrying him either, aru!" China quickly added.

"I'll carry him!" France said happily.

"NO!" Everyone except Russia yelled. Russia just kinda stood there with his Russia face.

England realized what this meant. Crap. America couldn't weigh that much, could he?

Oh how wrong he was.

He weighed as much as a whale, and trust me, England speaks from experience. That was not a fun time.

So he had to power walk his way to the sword, which, by the way, wasn't fun.

Finally, after many long hours of pain, strife, war, sweat, France, and power walking, they reached the Holy Sword Excalibur. The sword was stuck in the ground, just waiting for it's new master to pull it out of the ground.

Alright, time to wake up the bloody wanker.

"WAKE UP. . . BLOODY WANKER. . ." England said between gasps for air.

America didn't budge.

"Maybe I can use my French magic on him and he'll wake up~" France said with a rape face.

"NO!" Everyone except Russia yelled. Like before, Russia just kinda stood there with his signature Russia face.

"Maybe we should apply more of the pressure!" Russia said, smiling, pulling out a water pipe.

"NO!" Everyone yelled.

All this commotion woke America up. When he got up, he saw it. Excalibur, as shiny as ever. Slowly he walked toward the Holy Sword with the biggest smile on his face, like a little kid in a candy store who had just found the secret stash of chocolate. He held out his hands and pulled Excalibur out of the ground.

And everything went down hill from there.

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**Thank you so much for reading! I will try my best to put one chapter a day! Again, thank you! Bye bye!**


	2. FOOL!

**This is part 2! I really do hope you enjoy!**

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America pulled the sword up. Dramatic music played. And everything was so. . . Dramatic! Light shot straight up from the sword! And then. . . And then. . .

A white thing. . . Just stood there, right in front of America. "What is that, aru?" China asked.

"It looks so lame. . ." America said, disapointedly.

"FOOL! I am Excalibur the Holy Sword. What's your favorite number between one and twelve?" The strange thing AKA Excalibur asked.

"One because I'm number one!" America said heroicly.

"You think. . ." England mumbled.

"FOOL! My legend dates back to the twelth century. You must observe one thousand provisions!" Excalibur said in his Excalibur voice.

"Oh god no." France, England, and China said at the same time, except China added "aru" at the end of the sentence.

"Hey," America started. "I'm not a fo-"

"FOOL! Provision number one is my mornings start with a cup of coffee with cream. Do you know why?"

"Uh-" America started.

"FOOL! It's because there is nothing like a nice cup of hot tea in the morning."

England just stood there, gaping at Excalibur. "I remember your personality was a little dif-"

"FOOL! Provision number twenty two: on a refreashing morning, start out with a refreashing greeting!" Excalibur said, hitting Russia with his cane. When it hit Russia, it sounded like he was hitting steel. Weird.

"But it isn't even morn-" America began.

"FOOL! On a refreashing morning, start out with a refreahing greeting!" Excalibur repeated.

"Ugh. . . I'm having a migrain, and I don't even get migrains, aru!" China said, getting a migrain.

Then Excalibur started doing something weird. He started humming to himself.

"Dude, are you sure you are really Excalibur?" America asked.

"FOOL! Provision number fifty eight: never talk to me while I'm humming to myself." Excalibur said.

Russia was sitting in the corner, with a very un-Russia like look on his face, and when Russia is bothered or sad or annoyed, that means SHIT JUST GOT REAL. And that is never good. He looked like he waqs about to barf.

"Um. . . Alright?" America said. Then he turned to England, France, and China, and whispered, "I don't get this dude!"

"We don't either." France said.

Unfortunatley, no one does.

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**Thanks for reading! In the next chapter: provision number four hundred fifty two: five hour story telling parties!**

**China: OH GAWD NO.**

**Me: HECK YEAH**

**I will try to update tomorrow, or maybe even later tonight! Bye bye!**


	3. HELL ON EARTH

"FOOL!" Excalibur said.

"I didn't even do anything. . ." America said.

"Now you must observe the most important of my provisions! Number four hundred fifty two: you must attend my five hour story telling parties." Excalibur said.

"Oh god no." England said.

"So it was a sunny Tuesday, or was it a windy Friday? But a snowy Sunday fits more, but Autum Mondays are always nice. Or was it a Wednesday. . .?" *five minutes later* "Everyone admired my new haircut, until the bartender. . ." *three hours later* "My family then left me all alone on the streets, and I had nothing." *one hour later* "Then an apple fell on my head, and I wondered, 'what force made it fall?'" *fifty five minutes later* "And in the end Watson was the culprit." Excalibur finished.

China was hitting his head against the wall, America was passed out on the floor, Russia looked like he was hiding from Belarus, England had his wand to his head, muttering gibberish spells, and France was nowhere to be seen.

"FOOLS!" Excalibur said. Everyone turned to him, even France, who had come out from hiding.

"Provision number six hundred sixty seven: you must praise Excalibur at all times!" Excalibur said.

Then America grabbed him by his hat, turning him back into a sword, which the author does not know why that happened.

"Are you ready to become my Meister, having observed my one thousand provisions?" Excalibur asked. Dramatic music played, and light shot up from the sword again.

America stuck Excalibur in the ground. He couldn't stand him. "No thanks. . ." America replied. "Come on, let's leave."

"Yeah. . ." Everyone said in agreement.

And everyone walked away from the Holy Sword Excalibur.

As they were walking back through the cave, a fairy greeted them.

"Have you met Excalibur?" She asked.

Everyone made a face that clearly said, "Yes." Even America didn't flinch at the sight of her.

"Yeah, I thought so." The fairy said, flying away.

And when they got out of the cave, America said, "We should totally tell the Axis Powers about Excalibur!"

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**I got a review saying the Axis should see him too, so that's why that's at the end. I will post that story after I post a few others since I have tons of ideas! Thank you for reading! Bye bye!**


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